Mystical Kiwi of Bitterness

This is the Mystical Kiwi of Bitterness. It has been bequeathed upon you by someone who thinks you are really mean. This person might be your enemy, antagonist, nemesis, friend, Iago, foe, neighbor or someone else you don't even know. This person finds you rather disgusting, possibly even abhorrent, and just generally thinks you're a pretty good excuse to die. Whether this person actually hates you is another question. This is merely a token of derision for you to curse at and tear up. The proper response, upon reciept of the Mystical Kiwi of Bitterness is a slap, or a flame, if this person is too far away to slap within a week of reciept. Basically, the Mystical Kiwi of Bitterness is a way to say "Hey, you're really low-down, and I want you to know that." Sorry if you were disappointed that there is no actual citrus fruit contained in this letter. Unfortunately, at the time of writing, that miracle of science that allows Kiwi to travel through T1 and ISDN lines had not been perfected. But be consoled by the fact that someone thinks you're really a sickening monster, and would most likely run you over if you had a flat tire somewhere in the same state (or within a one or two hour radius, depending on the size of your state). The sender of the Mystical Kiwi of Bitterness only asks one thing of you-- (besides the aforementioned slap) that you bequeath this Kiwi of Bitterness on someone else. The Mystical Kiwi of Bitterness grows in power as it is shared, and someday you may recieve this Mystical Citrus Entity again. Send it on. Remember the nausea you felt the first time you received it? If you send it on, you may feel this again. This is not a chain letter. Nothing good will happen to you if you don't send it on, but think of the darkness it might put in the day of someone you think is extra offensive.

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Created by Brian Udoff